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Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Contacting a Childhood Bully

Many of us had them, some of us were them. But did you ever wonder what happened to your childhood bullies (or victims)?

Two days I ago, I decided to google a few names I remembered from the past when doing research on aggression. Tim was this young, good-looking kid with deep inset eyes that used to whip snowballs at me a few times while I walked home in 7th grade. My friend John, who ironically was also friends with Tim, used to protect me. I fought back with another bully, Ricky, and actually flipped him over my shoulder once. He wanted to be good friends after that. But Tim was this kinda guy that seemed to be looking for a fight, and man, if I could go back in time, I would have loved to wrestle him. He was hot.

Well, by pure coincidence, I tracked him down via the web, and we exchanged emails all day today---even spoke on the phone. He didn't really remember much of it, but said he was an angry kid cause he had five brothers and needed to stand out. Wouldn't it be something if I wrestled him in the film? He is 43 now, and a 220 lb correctional officer, and even has grand-kids! Below are a few excerpts from our email exchanges:

Tim:

As far as the bully thing goes, I am ashamed for that. I have no idea what made me act that way. I now am employed with New York state as a corrections officer, 20 1/2 years. I turned down a promotion as Sgt. I'm married with two kids, 21yrs old (girl) and 19 yrs old (boy). I have two grand kids 2 1/2 and 2 weeks old. I gained 28 lbs my first two years as a correction officer and I'm now at 220,:(. I started the job at 164 not an ounce of fat on me. I can no longer stand kids who act the way I did. I'm am truly sorry for anything mean I may have done to you. I hope you can forgive me.

Me:

Damn, now how am I supposed to challenge and win a wrestling match over my childhood bully when he has 50 lbs on me and is a trained correctional officer! I got pretty strong legs, so I may be able to take you. If it makes you feel better, I don't feel bad about it. I actually thought you were pretty cool.

Tim:
Oh don't worry about taking me I think you got me wooped. I do like the cage fighting, ufc.

Then we talked on the phone for about 30 minutes. It was great. Sounds like this could happen. I'll keep you posted. V

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